Finding the Right Fit: How to Identify a Therapist That Meets Your Need
Deciding to start therapy can feel like a huge step, and finding the right therapist can often feel even harder. The process of choosing a therapist can be overwhelming, especially for those who have never been to therapy before. Knowing where to start your search and what to look for can make a big difference in narrowing down your options. By understanding what matters most to you in a therapist, you can avoid wasting time emailing or calling a long list of potential providers.
In this post, we’ll guide you through the steps to finding a therapist who aligns with your needs. We’ll cover where to start your search, what factors to consider, and what to expect from therapy.
Where Should I Start Looking for a Therapist?
A quick online search for a "therapist near me" will likely return hundreds (if not thousands) of results. To narrow down your search, you can use online directories such as PsychologyToday.com, which allows you to filter therapists by location, specialty, insurance, and other preferences. If you plan to use insurance to cover your sessions, your insurance provider may also have an online list of in-network therapists you can browse.
Once you know where to start looking, think about what’s most important to you in therapy. Some questions to consider include:
Do I need to use insurance?
If so, focus on therapists who are "in-network" with your insurance provider. On Psychology Today and other directories, you can filter your search by insurance accepted. Your insurance provider may also have a list of in-network providers on their website. Sometimes information online is not always updated regularly, so make sure to check with the therapist directly to confirm that they will accept your insurance.
Do I have preferences regarding gender, identity, or background?
While research suggests that therapist gender or race doesn’t significantly affect therapeutic outcomes, some clients prefer to work with a therapist who shares similar identities or backgrounds. If this is important to you, look for therapists whose identities are reflected in their bios or search filters.
Am I looking for a specific type of therapy approach or for someone who specializes in a certain area?
If you’ve been to therapy before and know what type of therapy you like (or don’t like), or if you’ve never been to therapy but have a specific approach in mind that you’d like to try, it’s important to look for a therapist who advertises using that approach. Some clients also want to work with a therapist who has had experience with a specific diagnosis or concern that they are struggling with. To check if a therapist has the experience and expertise you’re looking for, you can filter your search results on some websites and you can read the therapist bio to see if they mention any specialties or areas of experience.
If you're unsure whether a particular therapist is a good fit after reviewing their profile, consider reaching out for a consultation call. Many therapists offer brief phone consultations to help you get a feel for their style and approach before booking a full session.
What Makes a Good Therapist?
Research has shown that when comparing different types of therapeutic interventions, none has a significantly better outcome than another. This is called the Dodo Bird Effect, which suggests that all forms of therapy are generally effective when practiced well. While this may sound reassuring, it also means there’s no one-size-fits-all formula for finding the perfect therapist.
That said, some key factors make a therapist more likely to help you achieve positive outcomes:
The therapeutic relationship
One of the most important factors in successful therapy is the relationship between you and your therapist. Research3 shows that the quality of this relationship is just as strong a predictor, if not a stronger, of success than the specific therapeutic approach used by the therapist. A therapist who listens to you, respects your perspective, and makes you feel comfortable is crucial to your progress.
Therapist qualities
While different approaches work for different people, therapists who are empathetic, non-judgmental, and collaborative tend to foster better therapeutic relationships4. Look for someone you can connect with, trust, and feel comfortable being vulnerable with.
What Can I Expect from Therapy?
If you’re new to therapy, the process can seem vague and confusing. The truth is, therapy is highly individualized—each client’s experience will be unique, depending on their needs and goals. However, there are a few common elements you can expect from most therapy sessions:
Setting Expectations
It's important to discuss expectations with your therapist early on. The process of therapy should be clearly defined, but how it unfolds will vary. A good therapist will be flexible, tailoring the therapy to your unique needs while keeping the space supportive and collaborative.
Initial sessions
The first session usually involves an introduction where the therapist will ask about your background and discuss the logistics of therapy (session length, frequency, policies on fees, confidentiality, etc.). It's also common for therapists to explain their approach and treatment style during the first meeting.
Goal setting
At some point, your therapist will likely ask about your goals for therapy, and may develop a written plan that reflects these goals (often called a treatment plan). This is usually a collaborative process between the client and the therapist. Your therapist can help work with you to set realistic goals and track progress over time.
Uneven progress
Therapy isn’t a "quick fix." While you may leave some sessions feeling lighter or clearer, other sessions might leave you feeling unresolved or emotionally heavy. This is normal, as many issues require time and ongoing work to resolve. The important thing is that your therapist is there to support you through these ups and downs.
Tips for Navigating the Therapy Process
Be honest and clear
If you know what you’re looking for in therapy, don’t be afraid to communicate that directly. Similarly, let your therapist know if something isn’t working for you. Therapists value this kind of feedback because it helps them adjust their approach to better serve you.
Look for someone who makes you feel heard and validated
Therapy is your time to explore your thoughts and emotions. You should leave sessions feeling understood and supported. If you consistently feel misunderstood, uncared for, or unsupported, it might be a sign that the therapist isn’t the right fit for you.
Don’t be afraid to "break up" with your therapist
If you don’t feel that the connection or therapy is working for you, it’s okay to look for a different provider. Ending a therapeutic relationship can be difficult, but it’s an important step in finding the right fit. If you’re comfortable, having a conversation with your therapist about why things aren’t working can also help you move forward. A good therapist will want to see you succeed, and they may even be able to refer you to someone who better matches your needs.
Conclusion
Finding the right therapist is an essential step in your mental health journey. While the process may take some time and trial and error, being clear about what you’re looking for, knowing where to start your search, and understanding what to expect can help make it a more manageable experience. Remember, therapy is meant to support your growth and healing, and the right therapist will provide a safe space for you to explore, process, and move forward.
Trust yourself in the process, and know that it's okay to ask questions, seek feedback, and change direction if needed. The right therapist is out there to help you thrive.
Written by Katherine Hales, LGPC
Sources
Shin SM, Chow C, Camacho-Gonsalves T, Levy RJ, Allen IE, Leff HS. A meta-analytic review of racial-ethnic matching for African American and Caucasian American clients and clinicians. Journal of Counseling Psychology. 2005;52:45–56.
Wampold BE, Minami T, Baskin TW, Callen Tierney S. A meta-(re)analysis of the effects of cognitive therapy versus 'other therapies' for depression. J Affect Disord. 2002 Apr;68(2-3):159-65. doi: 10.1016/s0165-0327(00)00287-1. PMID: 12063144.
American Psychological Association (2019, November 1). Better relationships with patients lead to better outcomes. APA.org. Retrieved November 15, 2024, from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/11/ce-corner-relationships#:~:text=%E2%80%9CAnyone%20who%20dispassionately%20looks%20at%20effect%20sizes,says%20University%20of%20Scranton%20professor%20John%20C.&text=A%20good%20relationship%2C%20the%20research%20finds%2C%20is,in%20and%20get%20the%20most%20from%20therapy.
Wampold BE. How important are the common factors in psychotherapy? An update. World Psychiatry. 2015 Oct;14(3):270-7. doi: 10.1002/wps.20238. PMID: 26407772; PMCID: PMC4592639.
